Persuasion not

Have you ever begged? I don't mean for money, but then the intent to that purpose is the same. Begging, is well, begging, in any way, shape or form. I have always believed that the people who resort to begging are the ones who have lost everything else in life, save the hope that the giver, the generous soul will rescue them from their miserable fate and the impending doom. The beggar is that person who has no other means to get out of the rut than to implore and wait for the sympathy of the beholder. By virtue of begging, the beggar has no self-respect left at the moment. Or, is he simply the person who gave in, or gave up trying. Is it ever possible for us not to have any other options in life?

The question to ask..

'Did you enjoy your story so far?'
I came across this line somewhere, and as weird lines usually go, it got stuck in my head. It's up on a post-it note in my laptop.
Anyhow, did I? Well, I don't know, maybe. Did I get what I always wanted? Is that essential for enjoying my story, and what was it that I wanted anyway? And that thing(s) I want, is it the same as what I really need, or for that matter what I already have, or worse still, something I had in the past but no longer have? Will all these thoughts ever arrive at the same dot? I would like to know.

Coming back to the story...Should it be just my story or the story of all the people who have been a part of my life? Maybe both of those together, but it will be a very long one then. For I have always lived two different lives - one in this body and the other in my mind. The latter has definitely been more interesting, because it has been a secret, the happy maelstrom in my imagination. I wonder if the latter has ever been revealed to the rest of the world. Could it be my alter ego they have seen cavorting about every time I have allowed myself to get drenched in the ambrosia...Well, it has been interesting, very much so...

jlt..

And so..I'm back...maybe just for today...even though I had,as always, promised myself that I would start writing more often after May. Alas...
So, I found this nice link on books some months back..
http://www.marcandangel.com/2008/08/11/30-books-everyone-should-read-before-their-30th-birthday/

Yes, it does remind me that I'm growing old, but what's more distressing is the fact that I still do not know what I have to or want to do. People who are close to me, suggest that I listen to the Sunscreen Song by Baz Luhrman...It's a nice song...the kind of song one can listen to at any point of time and find it apt. Sadly, just a song won't do. Surely, me and my almost twenty five years must mean more...I really would like to do a lot of things. Let's start with reading again. I want to read..and write, write really well. I think it'll take me another 10-15 days to get started on that though. That is the time I'll shift into my new apartment and finally have a room of my own. Guess I'll leave it at that till then..

?

Have I ever even lived?

the tide..

You don't know yet but you will have to learn how to bear me through it
all,else I'll just have to leave because to see you being tortured in
this manner is too much to bear...
To conquer the mind, you have to be able to distract and engage it in
something else at the right n precise moment..there's no other way
out..I wonder whether it matters to you sometimes...or whether you
understand any of it at all...

I told him to leave me...and he did...

Aur, theek hai, she asks...haan,theek hoon...
What else do I say to her..how do I tell her that I'm not so
okay..that I need her beside me..every second of the day...